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Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Gilbert Arenas' New Pool

Question: Want to know what a new $111 million dollar contract will buy you?

Answer: a pool and a mountain.

Washington Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas just threw down a cool one million to have one of the most ridiculous (in a good way) backyards I've ever heard of. Arenas also happens to be a cousin of Nebraska cornerback Armando Murillo, making this story more relevant than you probably first imagined.

Some info about the pool:

* The stone for the "mountain" cost nearly half a million dollars.

* There are three different fish tanks, one going in the "grotto," one in the front hall, and one in the basement. Their normal retail price would have been about another half-million.

* The tank in the basement will have a recess with a couch in it so Gil can "relax and look up at the fish."

The pool is suppose to be done sometime next month and rumor has it, when it is finished, that it will be one of the biggest residential pools in the states. I agree with having a grotto or two or three. However, I can't see having three fish tanks at about a half million. The only use for the fish tanks would be if you wanted to hire models to dress in mermaid suits to swim with the fish during parties. Also, who needs a mountain in their backyard? Unless you are going to build some sort of "Batcave", it basically is going to take up a lot of space that could have been used for a stage full of stripper poles or even space for several cabanas. On the other hand, telling girls at the bar that you have a mountain in your backyard would be a good ice breaker. And let's not kid ourselves, having a mural of yourself and your pitbull standing in front of the Capitol lets everyone know you're important.

You know Agent Zero isn't even close to putting on the finishing touches to this project. I can't wait to see this finished project. In fact, DXP has already sent in our applications to be the pool cleaners.

Schmitts Gay Beer - SNL - Adam Sandler & Chris Farley