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Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Michigan bloggers love the BCS and want to have a million of its babies

I can't even imagine what I would write or who I would blame if this ever happened to Nebraska. I can only hope that I would handle it with dignity and class...just like these guys.

First is Brian at M Go Blog. You have to hand it to the guy, even his most vitriolic declarations are exquisitely written. I only wish my students could frame their thoughts this well.

"There's no conspiracy here save that of stupidity. The BCS is a Lovecraftian monster with parts swiped from any system that was handy. A playoff beak here; bowl tentacles there. It is a playoff, a two team playoff, which is no playoff at all. It has ruined college football's most hallowed traditions, kicked a half-dozen teams directly in the nuts, and given us mostly grief. The people who run the BCS are, bluntly, idiots. The Harris poll has talk radio hosts in it and guys who vote Boise #2. Richard Billingsley's formula is a disjointed mess. The rest of the computers are crippled by an inability to consider the same factors humans do. The coaches -- glorified gym teachers all -- are hopelessly biased. Only Jim Tressel, who abstained after looking at the absurdity of picking one of two teams and seeing it spun as an insult to his opponent either way, seems sane to me.

And somehow people who oppose a playoff will tell me that watching a bunch of idiots decide that my 11-1 team doesn't deserve to go to the national championship game because there's a much worse 12-1 team that had the good fortune to play in a conference without Ohio State is a beautiful thing that adds to the unique charm of college fooball. To them, I only say that I wish you would die in a hideous and painful fashion because a bunch of gym teachers held a vote."
The folks at the M Zone suspect the infamous Katherine Harris is behind key component of the BCS formula the Harris Poll. I was living in Florida during the 2000 election and it wouldn't surprise me a bit to find out Mrs. Harris did indeed have her hands in this mess as well.
"Yesterday, her poll declared Florida #2, leapfrogging the University of Michigan, and sending the Gators to the championship game in Glendale, Arizona, to face Ohio State. But the MZone has learned Harris unilaterally certified her poll's results before anyone could question some of the irregular voting in the Harris Poll.

"I didn't need people asking stupid questions like who the fuck are the jokers in the Harris Poll and why do some ballots make no sense," said Harris when asked if she thought that was proper. "It's Florida and involves voting, so we'll do things how I damn well please."
Ronald Bellamy's underachieving All-Stars will probably be receiving some restraining orders.
"Fuck Florida, fuck Fox, and fuck the BCS. That selection show of theirs was like watching QVC cover the presidential election. Don't worry though, Fox has its best men on the job to announce the games, including Howie Long, Terry Bradshaw, Pat Haden, Barry Alvarez, and Thom Brennaman, who described it as "an odd situation." CAN YOU FEEL THE PASSION!?!?!?!"
Maize n Brew thinks Urban Meyer might want to see a urologist.
"How 71% of the coaches who voted on this thing lost their {bleep}ing minds in the span of 24 hours utterly baffles me. Yes Florida played 13 games. Yes they only lost once and won their conference championship. Fine, the streets of Gainesville are lined with gold and Urban Meyer pees a stream of diamonds that smell like sunshine."
Hey, if passing precious stones is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

A playoff would do nothing, but rob us of these brilliant reactions. This is what makes college football so great...and so humorous.