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Thursday, November 15, 2007

Take the Double Extra Points

Last Week: 3-5
Season: 58-55-1 (52%) ouch!!!

VOTE 4 T.O.!!!!

Make sure to get your votes into ESPN for the Best College Football Coach poll and vote for Tom Osborne. He’s already winning with, like, 99.9% of the vote as he should. (if that link doesn't work just go to the 'Special Section' to find the poll)

Also, make sure to get your votes in for the Best College Football Picks and vote for us. Just go to.....ummm....ummm...i'll let you know next week. I know. I know. You read the columns for the articles and not the pictures. I don't, but anyways here you go...


KANSAS (-26) over Iowa State: Let’s face it, if this is LSU or Oregon at home in this one the spread is > 40. Game after game Kansas is devouring opponents. Surprisingly, Iowa State has won their last 2 – but those were against Colorado and Kansas State at home. (Note to Husker fans: K. State beat Colorado 47-20.) Plus, there is no such thing as BCS pounds - just points. (insert weekly Mangino is fat pick)

GEORGIA (-7.5) over Kentucky: Kentucky is staying in games only because past Heisman hopeful QB Woodson has kept them in it all the while going 2-3 the last 5. Georgia has done more scoring the past 3 weeks than I could do in 3 weeks at the Bunny Ranch, which unless I had my Viagra and Orange Juice I could probably stand a chance. The Bulldogs need this for a possible SEC championship and should roll here with UK banged up as bad as Dr. D’s 18 year old students that dare to step in his office for office hours.

BUFFALO (+1) over Bowling Green: Buffalo is 3-0 straight up and ATS this year at home vs. the MAC and believe it or not, still can go to the championship game with help from Miami, OH. This stat is all you need: Against common opponents, BG is 1-3 and Buffalo 4-0 (covering all 4 ATS). Bottom line (and be scared or happy NU) Coach Gill continues to rise his stock by the game.

CLEMSON (-7) over Boston College: Never thought I would see the day Tommy Bowden wins the ACC but I am a believer after watching his last 4. Miracles happen – ask Big Head as Missouri is in a football conference championship race in November. In all honesty though, Clemson’s girl are sooo much hotter and that is what really matters here.

W. Virginia (-6) over CINCINNATI: W. Virginia is like Mike McDermott from Rounders – 'you just keep hangin’ around'. Cincinnati destroyed, destroyed UCONN last week but has lost 2 out the last 4 against a bad Pitt team and a bad Louisville team. However, since WVU lost that Thursday night game at S. Florida where they were up against the world, they have dominated and are sitting good for a high BCS bid. They weren't quite as dominate as these two strippers in pink, who were on my toilet, and had my ATM card.

Ul-lafayette (-4) over FLORIDA INTERNATIONAL: I don’t know, why not? How about a picture of a hot girl to persuade you?


CENTRAL MICHIGAN (-13) over Eastern Michigan – This is a match-up of the MAC’s best offense vs. one of its worst, in Eastern Michigan. While I don’t normally like to bet on colleges that I didn’t know existed until I met Sammy Vegas, watching Eastern Michigan’s pathetic offense will be like having a helmet cam on Dr. D at the Playboy Mansion. You’ll definitely feel sorry for the spectators in this one as Central will be up 21 by half and even the Vegas casinos will be cashing CMU bets after the 3rd quarter.

Oklahoma – TEXAS TECH OVER (66) - There might be more scoring in this game than in the Arizona State Theta house on a Saturday night. Mike Leach is angry after the hometown Austin officials screwed him more often than Charlie Sheen called Heidi Fleiss in the 90’s. He will hold nothing back in this one as the Red Raiders are already bowl eligible and looking for a single signature win this season. Meanwhile, Bob Stoops may have the best QB in the Big XII and that is saying a lot. Bradford and Co. might put up 50 points themselves in this one and we’re guessing there will be over 100 passes thrown in this game and almost as many points.

NOTRE DAME (-6) over Duke – I know what you’re thinking – haven’t I already learned my lesson betting on Lardass from Stand By Me and his merry band of underachievers? Well, the answer is no. Watching this game could be more painful than suffering through an episode of The Biggest Loser (also on the shittiest network in the planet). However, if there is one rule in college football gambling, it is betting against Duke which is better than Mark Grace’s fat-chick slump buster. This time I am serious, I will quit giving DXP picks for the rest of the season if Notre Dame does not cover this one.

Timmy Rose - don't let that girl bite you too hard in the ass there. We need you for the bowl season (just no guarantees).