The Week's Three Biggest Stories

· Anna Nicole Smith is dead and her body was up for grabs at yesterday’s trial. Geez, even her corpse is litigious. I mean seriously this woman spends more time in court than Jack McCoy.

· Britney Spears is not only bald, but also busy treating rehab like an M.J. buzzer-beater – in…out…and back in again. Those poor kids. When KFed is your “normal” parent – let’s face it, you’re FKed.

· Doak Ostergard is out as head trainer for the football team after 17 years on the Husker staff.

I can give you my perspective on all three stories.

I don’t care.

Not one bit.