Top 10 ESPN Reporter "Would You?" Edition

For my 2nd assignment here at DXP, I thought I would tackle a more interesting topic than the Gary Busey-esque behavior of Kevin Grady and Matt Jones. Today, I am posing to all of you the age-old question that has been asked since the invention of broadcast television and female investigative reporting. You know, that question you ask your buddies when you’re pounding beers, watching ESPN, and debating that philosophical question, better known as the “would you?” The execs over at ESPN have been adding talent to that reporter line-up like Jim Hendry with a 3 game lead in the NL Central in late July, and we have taken notice. So without further ado, here is the official ESPN Top 10 'Would You' list.

10) Suzy Kolber – Answer: No. Not even the number of drinks Joe Namath consumed could make me pull the trigger here. Below she tries to measure Namath's ego.

9) Wendi Nix – Answer: Yes. Boston fans have more reason to celebrate than the Pats/Red Sox/Celtics with Wendi covering the local market.

8) Rachel Nichols – Answer: Depends on BAC. I’m not a huge ginger fan, but exceptions can be made after reaching the vodka/seven double-digits.

7) Jeannine Edwards – Answer: Yes. Here’s a chick that you can take to the horse track who would school you and all of your friends in gambling on the ponies. Sold.

6) Shannon Spake – Answer: Yes. You don’t know her yet, but trust me, by the time Bo Pelini wins his first bowl game you will. Let’s hope NASCAR blows up soon.

5) Stacey Dales – Answer: Yes. The only question here is whether or not Stacey wants to get back up on that pogo stick after playing in the WNBA.

4) Nicole Manske – Answer: Are you kidding me? Quite possibly the only reason, other than #6 on the list, to watch any form of auto racing on ESPN.

3) Bonnie Bernstein – Answer: Don’t need one. If you say “no” to this one, please open the yellow pages and consult a shrink to discuss your sexuality at once.

2) Colleen Dominguez - Answer: Without hesitation. When we think of cougar hunting on a Saturday night, this is what we hope to score at the local Kona Grill.

1) Erin Andrews – Answer: Did you really think anyone else would get the top spot? I’m not sure Nik Richie over at thedirty.com could find a flaw. Nic, if you're reading, let us know.

So there it is, one definitive no, and a whole lot of good decisions in ESPN’s human resources department.

Bad Day For Packer Fans

What a day. Two things here. This is off the wall, but worth mentioning.

Not only is Brett Favre squeezing on the balls of the entire Green Bay Packers organization, but apparently the fans are joining in. A crowd of 100 outside of Lambeau yesterday was chanting "Favre for President", "Favre Forever", and "We want Brett".


(Hey lady with the kid. Scoot back behind the line. I repeat, scoot back or you will be shot.)

You retired Brett. Remember that? Leave Aaron Rodgers alone. Everybody knew you were going to pull this 'Diva' thing. Do the right thing and sit out a year and let Aaron Rodgers have a chance. You've made it a no win situation for everybody here. Then again, I hate the Packers so I guess I should be saying carry on.

Secondly, CBS is downsizing. Billy Packer is the first victim. I can now start watching college basketball without listening to Billy declare games are over in the first half of the first half. Clark Kellogg has replaced Billy after 34 consecutive Final Fours and fans are rejoicing. College basketball on CBS is watchable again even if Erin Andrews works for ABC and ESPN.





Billy, you should call Jim Rose. I heard he's got some hot leads.

Fan Appreciation Day: Katy and Nikki

Since football season is rapidly approaching, I figured I better get going on the Fan Appreciation Weekly so it's now called Day instead of Weekly. If you'll recall we have White Owl, James W. Conradt, and Zach Hample who have all graced this list.

It's time to move a little closer to home. Here are two Nebraska fans from a bar called Fat Face Fenner's in Hermosa Beach, CA. It's kind of ironic because when I and a few friends were at that bar during the USC - Nebraska weekend, not only do I not remember a minute of it, but I'm pretty sure we can't go back - ever. At least I'll have this video to hold on to.

The producer of this video is aspiring film maker Ike Stranathan (a KU almun) who actually sent DXP this video the week after Nebraska gave up a measly 76 points to Kansas. Although it's been posted on DXP before, it's worthy again. The first girl on the video is Katy. Katy is actually a Nebraska alumn who I specifically remember (from the fraternity days) used to swim laps in our punch bowl during parties. Nonetheless, she's still a true fan and still likes to tip a few (or maybe more) drinks back once in awhile. The second girl is Nikki. The purpose Nikki serves is obvious here. Even if we give up 76 to Kansas, she still can keep our spirits up in her own special way.

(Warning! It's a close NSFW?? There are word and cleavage problems here.)



Bartender! Excuse me, but I am going to need 10 of what she is drinking and an hours worth of those motor boat things.

You know Nebraska fans are great when in California a KU alumn, who is an aspiring producer, decides to shoot a movie about you DURING a KU game. If you are embarrassed by the actions of these young ladies, don't be.

Just remind yourself you could always be a Missouri Tiger football fan...



Someone call security please.

Fan Appreciation Weekly: Zach

I decided. Since Fridays are usually slow and it's still the offseason, I thought I'd start paying tribute to some of the greatest, most hardcore fans in all of sport. It will kind of be like 'My Wish' on ESPN. I made my case for Husker fan/computer hacker James W. Conradt yesterday who remains a fugitive and still has Texas and Oklahoma in a state of emergency. I made my case for White Owl.

Today, I'm making a case for Phillie's fan Zach Hample. Although it's unlikely Zach could read a computer screen much less write fake articles like James and bang 22 year old college chicks like White Owl, it still doesn't mean he can't show his spirit and love for sport other ways. Zach is a Phillies fan and not only does he claim to have thousands of foul balls, he claims to have caught one in 454 consecutive games. Zach also claims that he can say 'toss me the ball' in 27 different languages.

"Now what's going to happen when the foul ball comes our way. What are you going to do?" - CBS reporter Steve Hartman.

"I'm going to knock over the camera. Elbow you in jaw. Jump up and start running like hell." - Zach.

This is 5 minutes of MUST SEE TV. MUST SEE TV.



If I ever go to a Phillies game, I am not sitting within 3 sections of this guy. I'd be buying 100 beers because the minute I sat down he would be diving into me for a foul ball. Did you see him tackle that old guy when trying to catch a batting practice ball? Right after that he says, "Yeah. Great. Way to use your elbows sir."

It doesn't mean that I'm not adding this kid to my growing list of fans I have to meet before I die. I'm just saying I won't sit anywhere near him. I just want to meet him, briefly.

"I wrote a book about getting balls." - Zach.

The New NCAA Football 2009 Covers

If you are a fan of the NCAA Football 2009 video game, then you are going to love this. The writers over at that The Angry T just did what had to be a pain staking task of creating alternate NCAA Football '09 covers. Great stuff.

Criminal Intent

You know you've made it to the big leagues when DXP invites you to contribute to their great Husker blog site. This is my first post, so no haters. While the countdown to the 1st college football Saturday continues, there has been little to report in the football world, but I couldn’t help but bring up a couple of gems that have hit the headlines recently. For all you Wolverine fans out there who are expecting overachievement with the introduction of Rich Rodriguez as your new head coach, Kevin Grady has given you reason to believe.

With a tattoo of a cross on his left arm, you had to know this guy has high moral values. Just a week ago, Kevin took a break from summer conditioning and went on a Nicolas Cage-Leaving Las Vegas bender, where he was arrested for DUI and registering a stratospheric 0.281 blood alcohol level……you read that right…..0.281. Impressive work to say the least. I’m more impressed he could physically start the ignition at .281, much less put the car in drive. Not to be outdone, Jaguars wide receiver Matt Jones said “what the f**k did that guy do?” and proceeded to blow rails of cocaine off a credit card in an Arkansas parking lot (dude, next time do more than two head swivels to make sure the cops aren’t around when you’re paying tribute to Larry Coker). Obviously expecting a trade to the Cincinnati Bengals, Jones has been a bigger disappointment than my 2am trip to the mini-mart last Friday when I was sucked into buying the latest edition of American Curves magazine. Note to American Curves: don’t wrap your magazine in plastic unless the girls in the magazine are naked. Isn’t that some sort of FTC regulation?

Well it’s back to Lincoln this weekend for me and Vegas for more live racing at State Fair park, and a trip to the Brass Rail, where we’ll be sure to report any fingerblasting incidents involving Husker players on DXP. Oh, and for no reason at all more of your favorite girl below. I’ll gladly pay any reader $1000 if you can find a single flaw in the goddess that is my future wife, Erin Andrews.

Just Say No Oklahoma

In a Omaha World Herald article recently, it was revealed that a Nebraska fan did the most awesomest thing to Oklahoma since Johnny Rodgers in 1971. I'm telling you, you can't make things up that are this great.

James W. Conradt is a Nebraska football fan who happens to live in Austin, TX. James was so bored one night he decided to go find a template at 'The Oklahoman' on the internet and publish a bogus story about Sam Bradford and Landry Jones. The problem with the story is that he claimed they were arrested on cocaine trafficking. I guess to some people it's not funny.

Says Landry Jones' dad (Kevin Jones), "I'm going to prosecute him to the fullest extent of the law. I've got deep enough pockets to do it."

Oklahoman publisher David (not Charles) Thompson made this statement, "When this was brought to our attention, we took immediate action. Through our technology and news teams, we tracked him down and told him to cease and desist. We take this very seriously and will consider legal action."

This all started when James was in a Oklahoma chat room and obviously getting torn apart. "I just wanted to get em all riled up, I guess", James said. "It was a bad decision. When I got home, I got on my computer, one of the moderators on the Oklahoma site e-mailed me and said some Oklahoma people are upset about this. That's when I took it down."

Kevin Jones would respond, "I knew it was a prank thing right away. Anybody that knows Sam or knows Landry knows the story wasn't true to begin with. But when radio stations down in Houston and Austin report it, it's very hurtful."


I have a few thoughts on this. First of all, when the editor of The Oklahoman states that 'through our technology and news teams' they were able to track James down, then how the hell was he able to publish an article in the first place if your technology and news teams are so great. Is this the Channel 4 news team from Anchorman? Another thing, maybe Kevin Jones should be suing David Thompson. He is the one that should 'cease and desist'. Give me a break. I don't claim to know much, but I do know that when you run a major newspaper and some hick from Texas can hack in and publish articles that cause two states to go into an uproar there is probably a bigger problem. What's even worse is that James had to take down the article himself. James isn't exactly Matthew Broderick from 'War Games'. James isn't hacking into the CIA's central computer system and starting World War III so leave him alone. James, I got 'The Onion' on Line 2, I'm hooking you up man.

I'm putting this guy on the list of fans I have to meet before I die. Fans this hardcore don't grow on trees.

P.S. - If you need help with bail, call Jeffie. He lives closer.

The Cody Green Diamond

5* QB Cody Green has verbally committed to Nebraska. Here is his scout profile and his rivals profile. This is big for Nebraska in many different ways. Green could be that guy to get other big (4 and 5 star) recruits to take notice. In order to get those recruits, it is always crucial to get the first big one (especially a QB) and Bo did that. Also, it is assuring to know that we haven't fallen completely off the map in the eyes of some of the top high school football players. Getting players of this magnitude this early is a great first step. Time will tell.

Green is listed at 6'4 and 220 lbs, and he supposedly runs the 40 at 4.6 seconds. His high school coach says 'it's like having another coach on the field' and that he has a 'cannon of an arm'. A few weeks ago he stated he had narrowed his choice to Nebraska and Texas A&M and luckily for us he chose the wiser one. I will be praying every night that he doesn't pull a Blaine Gabbert, but this kid is actually smart (3.6 GPA) and I think he will stay true to his word. In fact, he said this: “It doesn’t matter. Once I make my decision, my decision is done. I’m not going anywhere else.”

It's definitely exciting to have that first marquee recruit arriving in Lincoln under the new regime. He will be competing with Zac Lee, Kody Spano, Patrick Witt, and Jim Ebke when he steps foot on campus. This kid will get some playing time right away.

Here is the only youtube video I could find. I like the fact he wears '21' as a QB. That's cool. I also like the fact he is the biggest kid on the field.

Sam Keller and the Raiderettes

Sam Keller is officially on the Raiders roster now. It appears all he has to do is beat out a washed up Marques Tuiasosopo, some guy named Erik Meyer, and some other guy named Jeff Otis to grab the third spot on the depth chart. Ironically, that would put him right behind Andrew Walter who once mentored Sam Keller at Arizona State. Grab that signing bonus check because I guess it's time to celebrate!


(from left to right: Sandro DeAngelis, Sam Keller, Bo Ruud, Todd Peterson, Matt Davison)





More importantly, what are the chances that Casey Connelly will be trying out for the Raiderettes?

The Jenn Sterger and Erin Andrews Catfight

When I sleep at night, this is what I dream about. This is the single best thing that has happened since White Owl got engaged to a 22 year old. Jenn Sterger is speaking in public again. Jenn recently tore into Erin Andrews and Jill Arrington.

Last week on ESPN 1470 in Tampa Bay, Jenn had this to say about Erin.

"She’s very talented. But it’s so funny because if you look at her old tapes back when she worked at the Lightning, it was the most dreadful stuff you’ve ever seen in your life. People compare me and say, well, she’s no Erin Andrews … and I’m like, well, who’s No. 1 on the computer. Suck it.”

Jenn goes on to say this about Jill Arrington.

"Oh, no, not my thing. I just don’t want to get that haircut and wear turtlenecks for a living. It’s just not my shtick. If there’s ever a chance for a hot girl to make it into sports, until then …"

As the interview continued, she would go on to say Derek Jeter "isn't my type" and when asked about who TV executives look for when hiring sports personalities, she says this: "They call it half pregnant: They want the hot chick, but they don’t want her to be completely hot."

First of all, who made you number one on the computer? Secondly, maybe you should stop doing Playboy (NSFW) and go back to school and get a journalism or communications degree. And finally, half-pregnant? Wow.

So who ya got?

Jenn


vs.

Erin


vs.

Jill

Jenn Sterger. Round 3. Ding Dong.

I'm sorry, I can't get enough. Here's a new 'lecture'. I have a feeling it's going to be a long time before I stop watching this series. If I'm an 18 year old at Florida State listening to this, I'd be thinking I'd never have to study again. What would be even better is if I was a football player because she'd be all about it. What amazes me is how she let's these leak on to youtube when clearly they should only be available on DVD.



Watch this ONLY ONLY ONLY if you have 5 minutes to kill and feel like laughing.


I have no idea why she says 'I have so many friends on facebook I can't even count'. I'm pissed. My invitation has yet to be accepted. And one more thing Jenn, you got discovered just like Pamela Anderson got discovered? Wow. I need more, more, more.

The Nebraska Football Hall Of Fame

This is interesting. Just elected into the Nebraska Football of Fame are the following: Ken Clark, Tony Felici, Sheldon Jackson, Bob Liggett, Kelly Peterson, Tim Smith, Alonzo L. 'Lon' Stiner, Brian Bohling, Chris Pohl, and Danny Woodhead. I'd love to be able to sit around and dissect the careers of these legends because clearly the committee doesn't. I can see Danny Woodhead since nobody from Nebraska has ever had so much tv exposure on ESPN on draft day. Did Sheldon Jackson ever start? Lon Stiner was an All-American at Nebraska in 1926. He wasn't good enough for the hall of fame in 1970? Brian Bohling was a 240 lb. guard who played at Nebraska Wesleyan. Chris Pohl played two years at Hastings college. What I'm gathering from all of this is that with 3 career touchdowns, 47 tackles, 2 pass deflections, and 1 sack (1995-1999) in intramural flag football at UNL, Timmy Rose will be on the ballot next year.

In all seriousness though, congrats guys. (Make sure to write in Timmy Rose next year.)

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I'm starting my own Hall of Fame. It's me and these two guys on the committee.



And the first person inducted is (drum roll).......

Jenn Sterger. Round 2.

I think I did everyone a favor last week in finally putting pictures up of FSU's famed cowgirl Jenn Sterger. I might or might not be sorry for about what you are about to witness. It's always good to have some 'self confidence' but this is both stupidity and pure entertainment wrapped into one. This is why her FORMER job at cnnsi.com's 'Daily Scorecard' was every other Wednesday. These videos are the best things you'll see all day. Trust me.




WTF was that? I'm on the phone right now with MTV and E! negotiating a reality television series about Jennifer Sterger. This is reality television gold.

So now I pose the question of the day. How much are these 8 things worth below?



I'm guessing that picture is worth 45,000 dollars. You got the over or under?

She's Back. Joey Chestnut's Back. I'm Back. Yeah!

The 4th of July was rough. Really rough in fact. I was able to avoid a couple of Jager Bombs and a fifth hot dog so here I am still standing for the time being.

Guess who else has a back?



Are you guessing?

Yep, you're right. That's Casey Connelly.



I have a few things on the plate here. First, apparently I need to do address college football 301 because another Husker blogger didn't agree with my first take on the state of our recruiting. This is going to get really old when I have to hear the argument that recruiting doesn't matter today. It's hit or miss I know with a FEW players, but I'll take Texas' class or Oklahoma's class vs. Nebaska's class. What the hell, give me Missouri's class or Kansas' class. Give me a break. Yeah, it's July, that's even a bigger problem. The Kool-Aid some of the Husker fans are drinking must be hallucinogenetic. I wish it was true (the Kool-Aid).

And secondly, I am doing a Top 10 most hated current athlete's list as well as the Top 10 Husker football moment's list. Most of it is done, but I'd love some input so I can fine tune it a little.

By the way, the Top 10 most loved current athletes is in the works as well. So far, I have this guy number one. Keep eating Joey Chestnut, you're the real American Hero.



“Gas is 5 dollars. You can’t eat tomatoes. But the Mustard Belt will stay in America and that’s good enough for me." - hot dog guy color commentator.

Dude, you have one year to come up with these lines. I have to say, you hit the ball, I mean dog, out of the park. (That was so cheesy that I had to leave it in here.)

And finally, let me say it again, give some ideas for the best Husker moments of all time. She said so.

Red, White, and Blue

It's the 4th of July and I figured DXP should do its part in showing our pride for our great country. Even if Nebraska is located in the middle of the USA, it doesn't mean Husker Nation can't reach out. So enjoy some videos, some laughs, and many beers and hope you all have a great holiday this weekend. And remember, don't take too many things so serious all the time.

Hope you enjoy.

I'm Sorry Jenn Sterger

I'm going to file this under blogger negligence. It's no secret we don't like Jenn Sterger as a reporter. Never has there been someone who has gotten where they are like she has. With an IQ that I would imagine hovers below 100, she manages to write for cnnsi.com and on occasion espn.com. She's so bad that the subtitle on her articles at cnnsi reads this, 'Florida State's Jenn Sterger will answer your questions on Scorecard Daily every other Wednesday'.

What the #*&!? What's the point of Scorecard Daily then? If I need an answer from Jenn today, you want me to check back in two weeks?

However, I never said DXP doesn't like Jenn Sterger as a hottie. You'll most likely know her as the 'FSU cowgirl'. Regardless, she's smoking hot and therefore needs more exposure.











I haven't even scratched the surface with this one.

Florida. You're On Probation.

Because of the Tim Tebow supporters that didn't appreciate the fact that I outed him yesterday, I feel compelled to rain on your parade again.

Not since the SMU football program (1986-1988) and the Kentucky basketball program (1952-1953) received the death penalty has there been a scandal of this magnitude. If you notice in the picture, Tim Tebow has a Gatorade cooler in his apartment.



That cooler will cost you around $70.50.

When SMU's football program was given the death penalty, their donors were paying players $75 a month.

I know there is inflation but still. I don't see Joe Ganz flaunting pictures on the internet with fat girls and free merchandise that was given to him illegally. And dude, the next time I see you on the internet attempting to like girls, I better see you with girls dressed like this in your apartment.

My American Idol

When I first heard about this story, I fell to the ground. I was disgusted. I was freaked out. Then reality would hit. I'm jealous of this guy.

White Owl is Kansas' number one fan and here he is at the Nebraska and Kansas football game last fall.



White Owl is 61 years old. He is engaged to Julia Lee. Julia is 22 years old and a student at the University of Kansas.



They have known each other for a month and met after White Owl did a speech at Julia's American Studies class. Julia was so impressed by White Owl's powerful message she approached him after class then the two became close friends and would become inseparable.

Says Julia, “After a little while I began to think. ‘I want to be with this guy in heaven.’ That is when we began to talk about marriage.”

You will be relieved to know, however, that the two are saving themselves for marriage. Says White Owl, “If I were to give in to my body, I would not be honoring her or God.”

“I have been without a woman for ten years, waiting for what God will bring me,” White Owl said. “I haven’t felt this love as a person since my mother babied me.”

Although no official date has been set, the wedding is going to be before the end of summer in Loose Park in Kansas City. 'Everybody is invited' they told the Daily Kansan. I don't know about you, but I'll be there with bells on. I'm not missing this thing for anything. Things this great don't happen everyday. Although I'm not a big Jayhawk fan, I will definitely be watching more Kansas football and basketball games looking for White Owl.



Julia's dad has been unavailable for comment.